Going through the tempest of the adolescence
“We never imposed tough requirements on the adopted children. As long as they use computers and network in an appropriate way or within the allowed time frame, we let them use the computers and access the network as they wish.”
Mommy and Daddy Wu believed that containment is not an ineffective policy. The correct way to change the behaviors of the adopted children should be originated from the change of their mentality, which could change the future of the children and accompany Ahwen to go through the tempest of the adolescence.
In order to let Ahwen open up his mind, Mommy and Daddy Wu showered their acceptance, care, and accompany upon him. “We'd never spoken harsh words to him. We waited until he calmed down, and asked him why he'd acted that way. We tried to understand his mentality.” Mommy and Daddy Wu believed that the foundation of care must be set up first before effective communication. They accompanied Ahwen as much as they could. During or after dinner, they encouraged Ahwen to talk what happened during the day or what he felt. They went on outings together over the weekend. “No matter where he wanted to go, as long as he told us, we'd always accompanied him to make the trip so that he could felt our warmth and like this family. We let him know we stand up together with him.”
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After sincere and repeated communication with Ahwen, Mommy and Daddy Wu understood him gradually. Ahwen stole money in order to purchase "points" for playing computer games. His addiction to computer games deprived him of his motivation for learning and other things in life. After finding out Ahwen liked to stay at the Wu's, Mommy and Daddy Wu communicated with him. “We let him know that if he likes to live in our home, he needs to make changes.”
They pointed out, instead of preventing him from wrongdoings, changing his mentality was the real solution. The key point is: changing his desire, making him unwilling and unwanting to take things which do not belong to him. They also taught Ahwen that theft is a criminal offense that will be prosecuted by prosecutors, and the serious result of committing a crime.
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